Keep in mind, it’s not 200 million bucks worth of effects here. But, for some guy workin’ on his home computer in his basement…it’s pretty frickn’ inspiring. I wish we could do effects like this guy. Enjoy.

I am excited to be preparing for my first audition of the year. I am in the midst of preparing a monologue that I will be sharing for Vertigo theater here in Calgary. It is one of the many theater companies in the city that is holding their general auditions for actors that haven’t had the opportunity to have their work seen in a while. The monologue that I have chosen is from the film Sling Blade. If you haven’t seen it, please do. It is a fantastic cinematic experience.

Hopefully all goes well for me. The thing that I always try to remind myself during auditions is that my performance is not only for them, but it is also for me. It is for me to escape for a bit, and play. That is after all what it is called, a play.

I tip my hat to you, (and break my leg)

David.

The night started out with my wife and I getting all fancied up for the show in our hotel room. “How long do you think it will take us to get there?” Kim called out to me while touching up her make up. I took a quick look at our map. “Oh, it shouldn’t take us much more than fifteen minutes,” I replied. WRONG. It looked like a short walk on the map, but once we got out and on to the streets it was like that scene from Crocodile Dundee. There was no side walk. There was just people. Well we darted this way and that, all the while watching the clock tick closer and closer to show time. Finally we made it, and just as the lights were fading we took our seats. The show was All My Son’s and it was fantastic. The cast included Academy award winner Dianne Wiest as Kate Keller, Patrick Wilson as Chris Keller, Katie Holmes as Ann Deever, and the amazing John Lithgow as Joe Keller. John’s performance of a father struggling to keep his life together was just wonderful. The range that he has is a very rare thing and he made my first Broadway show a marvelous delight.

Kim loved the show just as much as I did and if we get the chance to go back to the big apple, we hope to take in many more rewarding theater experiences on Broadway.

I tip my hat to you,
David Haysom.

I have missed this feeling quite a lot. But I have received the opportunity to perform in a play called Amber Lights, which will be showing at The Birds and Stone theater in Calgary (16 Ave. and 1 St. N.W.) from Nov.12 till the 22 at 8:00 pm. The show is about a young girl that goes missing up north along the “Highway of Tears”. I really hope to see you out there in the audience.

I tip my hat to you,

David.

this is me, post knockout

For all of the fuddy fans out there. Here is a little snippet about me. I box. Problem is I am a terrible boxer. I have managed to climb the ranks of the wmbba (world man-beast boxing association), only to get knocked out in the second round by Zangief, a russian circus bear turned man-beater.

At first it was easy. My first match was against Sammy the snake. No problem there. Sammy couldn’t wear boxing gloves and he wasn’t even poisonous. Sammy’s a garter, I think.

Then I had a fight with Ronald the hawk thrasher squirrel. I think he got the name cause he beat up a hawk one time. You know, the squirrel was pretty tough. He kept running up my leg to give me a few good bops in the face and then would run down before I could react. He was fast. I eventually figured out this tactic and started to punch myself in the face when he latched on to it. I beat Ronald in the fourth round.

It went on and on like this for a while. A Canada goose, a zebra and a puffer fish are just some of the subsequent matches I had. Once I figured out their weaknesses, a win was inevitable. Then came the big match. The Championship!

the poster the promoter's used

   I have to admit, I was a little worried. I heard some crazy things about Zangief. One guy told be to watch my ears. He said Zangief had a collection of human ears in his den from previous fights. ”Great” I thought.”I’m up against a bear who doesn’t want to bite my ear off, but keep it as a souvenir in his extensive EAR collection.” Some people have comic books, this guy has frickn’ ears! ‘No problem, I’ll wear a head band.” 

Anyway, Zangief’s showboating at the beginning of the match didn’t help my confidence any. The crowd loved this guy. How could I compete with that.

Zangief mingles with the crowd while on his way to knock me out

Zangief had a cape. I didn’t have a cape. I really want a cape now. When the match started I decided I would use a more evasive style. Zangief wasn’t too quick on his feet so out maneuvering  him was easy. I landed several solid blows the first round but Zangief wasn’t even phased by my meager assault. In the end I was KO’d by one punch. One stinking punch ended my career in the WMBBA. It’s okay though. I still have ears…both of them.

Erik Eldman (former contender for the World man-beast boxing association)

Well, FuddyTV members I would like to share some cool news with you. I was cast as a Wingman in a Coors Light Beer commercial not too long ago and it has just recently started to appear on TV. I play a man who has strapped himself to a set of home made feathered wings and is trying to take flight in order to break into the Coors light mystery mansion. Maybe you have already seen it? It was a lot of hard work shooting this commercial because of all the running that was involved. Not to mention each wing was nine feet long and weighed like 50lbs. “Flap harder!” the director would yell from behind the camera.

At the end of the day I felt like my entire body was mashed potatoes, and I’m not talking about the flaky mashed potatoes that you mix together from out of a box, I am talking about the real mashed potatoes with the melted pool of butter in the center.  But after all was said and done, I went out and enjoyed a couple of frosty Coors Light beers as a reward…and a plate of mashed potatoes.

I tip my hat to you,
David.